The(sis) Aftermath

8/17/2013 01:22:00 AM

Green Berries top (old), Vanillapop plaid buttondown, Never Been Kissed skirt (old), Fila socks, Keds X Taylor Swift sneakers

Presenting the first set of photos of me after my dreaded thesis defense!  Yes, at this point I had around 10 hours of sleep already to somehow get rid of my eyebags.

I have to say, I had a mental breakdown at 3am the morning of my defense. Imagine cramming everything I had till the very last minute, but realizing I'm not gonna be able to finish my thesis 100% the way everyone expected me to. And the chances of me failing my thesis (and getting a huge ass black stain on my squeeky clean academic record since, well, FOREVER) has increased to 70:30 after 2 in the morning.  Yeah, cue panic attack. I almost had one tbh. I was literally crying 'cause of stress, pressure and self-pity with thoughts swirling in my head such as: 

"WTH did I get myself into??"
"Why did you make it harder on yourself, Sephie? Why pick this topic??"
"Why didn't you do this earlier? Why'd you procrastinate again??" 
"Why did you  pick this medium and topic??" 
"Why didn't you make fewer games in your proposal paper??"
"Why did I take this thesis subject this term along with so-and-so subjects??"
"Why.. Why.. WHY???"
etcetera, etcetera..

I had all the materials with me: my assets for my instructional game, my paperwork, codes to be used, they were all there. I just lacked time in putting everything together properly. To make matters even worse, it was Dad's birthday the day I had my defense. No pressure? Suuuuure.  

In the end, my parents gave me a really helpful pep talk at 4 in the morning to do what I can as best as I can, that I will most certainly NOT fail, and I had to cram everything in 2 hours. And I was running on 3 hours of sleep (I barely slept the day before too). 

Running on adrenaline rush, I passed my thesis with the skin of my teeth. After I presented my work, the panelists walked outside the room to discuss their thoughts about my project in private. Truth be told, that doesn't usually happen. So yeah, I was pretty much panicking inside.  They told me to go outside and informed me that they were giving me 2 hours to add some stuff to make my thesis checklist complete. HOLY MOTHER OF ---- I can't even. I did what I could in the 2 hours they gave me to work on one part of my project based on all their constructive criticism. Then they gave me my papers with my grade. "Congratulations" never sounded so effing sweet! I could hug my panelists if they'd let me!  
Cue Hallelujah chorus! THANK YOU LORD!!!

So yeah. That's what happened to me on the day of my defense. Super happy that I still have a clean academic record (dodged a freaking bullet) and it was the best birthday gift I ever gave my dad too. We celebrated both events at TGIFriday's over at Makati that night (me still not sleeping yet, but still hungry enough to gorge on the food). THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who supported me and my work, and who helped me get through this! Two more terms and I'm (hopefully) graduating!! \\:D//

As for my outfit here? Well I was feeling a lot better now since it felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders after my thesis defense. So I had the thought of slowly getting back to how I usually dress up before my MMPROJ1 took over my life. Something simple and casual that is still very much ME. Hoping to be able to get my blog up and running again soon! Baby steps~ :P

And yes, lesson learned: DO NOT PROCRASTINATE ON MY THESIS.

On my last note: I feel like this story would be one of those stories I'd end up telling my kids/grandkids when they're facing their thesis, mwahahah~! :))

  (.   .)o

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